One of my fair readers commented on my blog about girlfriends saying that she wants friends; at this point she relies on her husband to be her best. Now, don’t get me wrong, my husband is my best friend. That man has been my support, my comedic relief, my endless ear. Yet, by having girlfriends I have saved him from the very worst of my mood swings, endless chatter, and mothering frustrations. I can vent to girlfriends and then share what I have learned with him.
But how do you meet women friends? When my son was born I was all alone at home, my mom, aunt, cousins and sister living in various states, and was the first of my married friends to reproduce. It was lonely. And it was summertime- so also miserably hot. Then, through the guidance of a mutual friend, I stalked a girl who had a daughter the same age as my son, desperate to have just one friend.
Thankfully she felt the same. We bonded quickly, me pushing the friendship and her allowing me to yank her in. After that, I no longer reeked of desperation and I was able to make friends easily.
Put yourself out there. Go to the library kid’s room and joke with fellow mothers. Hang out at the park and ask the age old pick up line, “Oh! She is so cute, how old is she?” If the mom stars chatting, you are in. But while you are flirting, WATCH your kid. Nothing scares off a potential BFF then the idea they might have to mom your children too.
Look for Mom’s groups online- meetup.com is a great place to find local meetings. Go. Go back (unless they were freaky and scared you off.) Keep going. Some moms don’t go every time, so it might take just getting out there. In my experience, moms out in public like to chat with other moms. They are receptive to conversation.
If you have older kids, go to PTA meetings or linger at the other school events. Smile, even if you are shy. Drop off your kids at school and say hi to familiar faces. Over time you will chat.
Now, putting yourself out there is good business, but you also have to be cautious. Do not go too hot and heavy too fast. Never ask for a number the first time you meet a mom. You will scare her off. Go back to the park around the same time again and hopefully you will see her again. Keep it casual. Keep getting out to mom friendly places and you will notice that the same moms come time and time again. Those are the ones looking for company.
Good luck, be patient and get yourself out there!